I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
