So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
and she was petting her beer can
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
