it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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