Me. At least after what I've been through.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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