Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
