So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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