Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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