honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
