i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
