That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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