dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
