Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
