The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
