If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
