ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
