Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
