I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
