Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize