i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
