I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
