How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
