please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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