Only a mothe r could love this liver
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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