I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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