Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
