Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
