Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
