when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
