y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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