We're facebook friends in real life
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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