Nicole vs. Life
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
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I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
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I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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