I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Holy sore nipples Batman
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
