Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
