i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I forget how to act sober
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
