Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
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theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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