I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
it glows. i had to have it.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.