I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
