Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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