Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
