I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
