margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
