Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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