Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
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It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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