Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
