Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
