Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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