Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
