this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
