you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
