Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
