# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
