well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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