Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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